Do you wear dresses a lot? The girls in this house {my daughter, Arlee & I} do not. But I, after talking a couple few times with my Husband, have decided that we should try to do so more often. This is a big change for us gals who have been wearing pants, capris, jeans, and shorts for the majority of our whole lives. I have decided this change needs to be a slow gradual one...but, especially when you are 12, no matter go slow and gradual changes comes about...it's hard.
I've asked Arlee quite a few times about wearing dresses all the time, or even just more often. She's always been against it. Said she just loves her jeans. Okay, I can understand that especially since that is what she is used to wearing. Just like me and my comfy Capri's. And, I'm not one big on changes to my regular routine either.
I've read many a blogs and articles about Ladies who wear dresses all the time, sometimes along with their daughters...and it is so intriguing to me. But, I think the biggest inspiration for me is just been watching the 18 and Counting episodes about the Duggars. Reading about this lifestyle choice is one thing, but being able to see it makes it that much more interesting.
When I see all the long skirts on all their daughters, what I see being portrayed is not only femininity, but modesty as well. Defiantly two things which I would love to be able to teach to and instill in my daughter, and also bring more of it into my own life as well.
I tried once before to make the change to wearing only dresses. But, I believe I tried to change too fast for my own liking. After only a few days, I was ready to hang up my dresses for good. It just didn't feel right. So I happily returned my dresses and skirts to the dark corners of my closet and slipped right back into my comfy capri's...very happy to be back into my own comfort zone as well! I feel that I made the mistake of trying to change all at once. I'm one that needs to slowly get used to something new...not jump in with both feet!
I will also admit that I am MUCH more excited about this change than Arlee is...and this is an understatement! I was being a little too excited last night talking about it, and she got upset. {Hormones...aren't the lovely! Especially at her age!} Danny and I practically had to force her to sit down and tell us her thoughts. After some convincing she just let go. She explained to us that we made this decision without her. That no one asked her what she thought on the matter. That she was wanting to be able to express herself the way she wanted to. WOW...I was thinking...those are some pretty grown up thoughts she has been having! I was proud of her for finally letting go and expressing her emotions and feelings on the matter.
She did have some good points. She was upset because we made the decision without her. True. We did. We then explained to her that she is only 12, and we are still the parents...and that we will most times make decisions without her...and that sometimes these decisions will not be easy for her to accept, but she must trust us that we are only doing them with her best interest at heart.
She even called me out on trying to be like the Duggars. I was impressed with her honesty. I asked her, when she is looking thru her Girls Life Magazine and sees a cute hairdo, and she goes and tries it out on herself, why does she do this? She blurted out, "Because it's cool." We went on to explain that we are NOT trying to be just like the Duggars. Just as she is not trying to be just like the girl in the magazine. But, unlike her, we are not doing this "because it's cool". That we see their family as an inspiration. We see SOME of the things that they do, that we would like to try with our own family to help teach our own set of values.
We went on to share with her the why's of this decision. I started off by telling her that by being a young lady it is important for her to learn how to be feminine. To know how to wear skirts and dresses along with how to hold herself and carry herself while wearing them. I shared with her, that although she has always been very conscious of being modest, wearing long dresses and skirts is also another way to do so. Some may even argue that is is the best way, due to the fact that jeans and pants show more contours of your body than long skirts or dresses would. We want to make sure, especially with her getting a little older, when and if boys are looking at her that they are SEEING HER. Dressing modestly demands this.
After our talk with Arlee, Danny talked with me. He was thinking that maybe she feels singled out since Frost, and the other boys for that matter, do not have the same changes going on. And, to be honest, I never really thought about it with the boys! Just like I never thought about asking my Husband to dress up for me on a certain day either. But, Danny and I talked and he said that it would be only fair that the boys must "dress up" as well.
So with today being Thursday, the day I decided would be good for us to start "dressing up" once a week, I set Arlee off this morning to put on her dress and fix her hair. I went to the younger two boys closet and found 2 collared shirts, two under shirts, and pants. As I was getting them dressed and brushing their long locks...Frost was off finding his own dress shirt! He chose to do this all on his own when he saw that everyone else was getting dressed.
After Arlee and Frost were ready for the day, the three of us were in the kitchen talking. I had Arlee really look at Frosty's outfit. It was a yellow undershirt with a dragon on it, and his dress shirt was a very soft blue material with dragons. He was able to look very respectable and still express himself at the same time. And that when we are able to go buy her some new skirts and such, she will be able to do the same thing. Right now she is sort of stuck with the one dress and one skirt that she has right now. She seemed ok with this idea...are we maybe making progress with her accepting this change?
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